unspoken matters

what makes a good friend?..is being a friend cooking your every meal?..or calling you up to ask how your day was?..or maybe a friendis the person who snaps you back to reality when they think you are being a pain to others?.. its hard to define what makes a friend, even harder to define a good one. but we cannot live, really, without friends. at least one (like house and wilson) that tolerates you and your idiosyncrasies. a person shouldnt have to act differently or portray themselves to suit other people. thats being dishonest.

a friend has been showing me the cold shoulder. i have asked whats the matter..she tells me that she's just tired, missing friends and family, stressed out. and i believed her.

but then, i get a blow i didnt expect. a girl that i have only known for 3 weeks, spent maybe 2 hours in total with, asks me whether i had a fight with my friend. imagine my shock, hearing this from a stranger!.. how did she know this when i didnt? i dont know what i have done to upset her. i tried thinking of all the times that we might have had a disagreement but honestly, i cant. i tried asking her about it, but she says nothing is wrong. then why the odd treatment?..

am i that mean and nasty that she couldnt confront me?..that there is a chance i will scream and shout, even hit someone, because 'someone has a problem with me'?.. i am not shallow or fragile, and i can accept if people have problems with me. i rely on my friends to keep me in check. that i do not go overboard. so why is this girl telling everyone except me, to the one that matters? how can others help solve the problem?..i hate the fact that i heard it from a stranger.

so i decided, after many attempts of resolution, to not think about it anymore. i have better things to do than mope around and feeling depressed. if she is willing to give up on our friendship over stupid, petty things then so be it. sometimes i feel like the relantionship is being taken for granted, that i will always be there in case she has a problem with someone else. i will, no doubt about it, but if things still go the way it is going now, it will be with a huge chip on my shoulder. i dont want to feel that way about anyone.

i have moved on..so if she can be mature about it and do the same, that will be great. for all of us.