what makes a good friend?..is being a friend cooking your every meal?..or calling you up to ask how your day was?..or maybe a friendis the person who snaps you back to reality when they think you are being a pain to others?.. its hard to define what makes a friend, even harder to define a good one. but we cannot live, really, without friends. at least one (like house and wilson) that tolerates you and your idiosyncrasies. a person shouldnt have to act differently or portray themselves to suit other people. thats being dishonest.
a friend has been showing me the cold shoulder. i have asked whats the matter..she tells me that she's just tired, missing friends and family, stressed out. and i believed her.
but then, i get a blow i didnt expect. a girl that i have only known for 3 weeks, spent maybe 2 hours in total with, asks me whether i had a fight with my friend. imagine my shock, hearing this from a stranger!.. how did she know this when i didnt? i dont know what i have done to upset her. i tried thinking of all the times that we might have had a disagreement but honestly, i cant. i tried asking her about it, but she says nothing is wrong. then why the odd treatment?..
am i that mean and nasty that she couldnt confront me?..that there is a chance i will scream and shout, even hit someone, because 'someone has a problem with me'?.. i am not shallow or fragile, and i can accept if people have problems with me. i rely on my friends to keep me in check. that i do not go overboard. so why is this girl telling everyone except me, to the one that matters? how can others help solve the problem?..i hate the fact that i heard it from a stranger.
so i decided, after many attempts of resolution, to not think about it anymore. i have better things to do than mope around and feeling depressed. if she is willing to give up on our friendship over stupid, petty things then so be it. sometimes i feel like the relantionship is being taken for granted, that i will always be there in case she has a problem with someone else. i will, no doubt about it, but if things still go the way it is going now, it will be with a huge chip on my shoulder. i dont want to feel that way about anyone.
i have moved on..so if she can be mature about it and do the same, that will be great. for all of us.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Thank a feminist
now for something really random...i love to read this column called 'Musings' from a local paper from home..MARINA MAHATHIR is the columnist's name. she is also the past malaysian prime minister's daughter. she is extremely intelligent and blunt so her articles are very interesting reads. this was her latest one....
Feminist” may be seen as a derogatory term, even by women, but Malaysian women today can hold their heads high because of feminists.
TODAY I received an interesting email that contained, among other things, these statements:
*If you are a woman voter, thank a feminist.
*If your doctor is a woman, thank a feminist.
*If you open the help-wanted section of any US paper and see job listings classified by occupation rather than “help wanted – male” and “help wanted – female,” thank a feminist.
*If your depression is taken seriously rather than considered a by-product of having a uterus, thank a feminist.
*If you can have birth control prescribed to you without first obtaining your husband’s written permission, thank a feminist.
*If you’re allowed to teach school regardless of your marital status, and you’re a woman, thank a feminist.
*If you are told you can become something other than a nurse, a grade-school teacher, a housewife and mother, or a nun, thank a feminist.
*If you expect to be considered for admission to university programmes based on your qualifications rather than your gender, thank a feminist.
*If you expect your qualifications for admission to educational programmes to be considered equally, rather than after every male application has been admitted, thank a feminist.
*If you’ve heard of the crime of domestic violence, and know that it’s illegal, thank a feminist.
*If you can drive, thank a feminist.
*If you expect to be paid the same wage as a man doing the same job you are, with the same seniority and the same qualifications, thank a feminist.
*If you are considered a person in your own right rather than the chattel of a man, thank a feminist.
*If you’re legally permitted to own property in your own name, thank a feminist.
*If you don’t expect to be fired because a man “needs your job to feed his family,” thank a feminist.
*If the phrase “non-traditional occupation” seems a little old-fashioned or, better yet, you don’t understand it at all, thank a feminist.
*If the phrase “she’s a woman lawyer” seems odd, thank a feminist.
*If you hear terms like “firefighter,” “police officer,” or “postal worker” in everyday life, thank a feminist.
*If you aren’t expected to leave the room at a party when the conversation turns to current events and politics, thank a feminist.
*If you’re a grown woman and don’t expect to be called “girl” when you are 50, thank a feminist.
Feminists brought about all of these things. Before the feminists got involved, the reverse was true in each and every case. Although this list applies mostly to the United States, there are some things here in Malaysia that we can thank feminists for, too.
For instance, the amendment to the Federal Constitution in 2004 which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex, the Domestic Violence Act 1994 and current proposals for laws against Sexual Harassment, longer maternity leave and workplace child care.
But whom do we have to thank when female flight attendants are grounded after three children while their male colleagues can keep flying even if they have 10? When our national airline refuses to recruit and train female pilots even though there are already women fighter pilots in our air force?
When ministers insult bloggers by calling them unemployed women, liars and cheats?
When male judges allow women to lose their children by refusing to make just decisions just because it involves religion?
When women are blamed for “allowing” themselves to be raped even if they are 73 and doing nothing more provocative than washing dishes in their own home?
When career women are constantly reminded not to neglect their families while men who neglect theirs are never chided?
When the fact that there are more female students in universities is considered a problem that has to be corrected by preferential admissions for males?
When laws that protect the rights of Muslim women are overturned because God allegedly prefers it that way? When women’s faith and morals are judged solely by the way they dress while men’s aren’t?
When unmarried women are deemed unqualified to speak for abused married women whereas it’s OK for men to speak on behalf of women?
When, despite the overwhelming number of cases of violence against women, men, and even some women, insist on focusing on the rare cases of women committing violence against men?
When women have absolutely no chance of becoming Prime Minister in this country?
When “feminist” is considered a derogatory term, even by women, while “male chauvinist” is worn as a badge of honour by some men?
Who indeed do we have to thank for these?
good eh?..sadly eventhough this is pointed out so blatantly, things will never change in malaysia, not anytime soon anyway. and we cant put the blame solely on men..majority of the women like where they are and dont feel like they should ask for more. so this is frustrating for women like marina ( and me ) because it all the effort put it in and great attempts made to get certain rights for women will look like "angry, sexually deprived, ugly women with nothing better to do are out to get men on purpose" without the support of the people we are getting them for. everyone wants the benefit without breaking a sweat...
it doesnt work that way and never will..when are women going to realise that?
Feminist” may be seen as a derogatory term, even by women, but Malaysian women today can hold their heads high because of feminists.
TODAY I received an interesting email that contained, among other things, these statements:
*If you are a woman voter, thank a feminist.
*If your doctor is a woman, thank a feminist.
*If you open the help-wanted section of any US paper and see job listings classified by occupation rather than “help wanted – male” and “help wanted – female,” thank a feminist.
*If your depression is taken seriously rather than considered a by-product of having a uterus, thank a feminist.
*If you can have birth control prescribed to you without first obtaining your husband’s written permission, thank a feminist.
*If you’re allowed to teach school regardless of your marital status, and you’re a woman, thank a feminist.
*If you are told you can become something other than a nurse, a grade-school teacher, a housewife and mother, or a nun, thank a feminist.
*If you expect to be considered for admission to university programmes based on your qualifications rather than your gender, thank a feminist.
*If you expect your qualifications for admission to educational programmes to be considered equally, rather than after every male application has been admitted, thank a feminist.
*If you’ve heard of the crime of domestic violence, and know that it’s illegal, thank a feminist.
*If you can drive, thank a feminist.
*If you expect to be paid the same wage as a man doing the same job you are, with the same seniority and the same qualifications, thank a feminist.
*If you are considered a person in your own right rather than the chattel of a man, thank a feminist.
*If you’re legally permitted to own property in your own name, thank a feminist.
*If you don’t expect to be fired because a man “needs your job to feed his family,” thank a feminist.
*If the phrase “non-traditional occupation” seems a little old-fashioned or, better yet, you don’t understand it at all, thank a feminist.
*If the phrase “she’s a woman lawyer” seems odd, thank a feminist.
*If you hear terms like “firefighter,” “police officer,” or “postal worker” in everyday life, thank a feminist.
*If you aren’t expected to leave the room at a party when the conversation turns to current events and politics, thank a feminist.
*If you’re a grown woman and don’t expect to be called “girl” when you are 50, thank a feminist.
Feminists brought about all of these things. Before the feminists got involved, the reverse was true in each and every case. Although this list applies mostly to the United States, there are some things here in Malaysia that we can thank feminists for, too.
For instance, the amendment to the Federal Constitution in 2004 which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex, the Domestic Violence Act 1994 and current proposals for laws against Sexual Harassment, longer maternity leave and workplace child care.
But whom do we have to thank when female flight attendants are grounded after three children while their male colleagues can keep flying even if they have 10? When our national airline refuses to recruit and train female pilots even though there are already women fighter pilots in our air force?
When ministers insult bloggers by calling them unemployed women, liars and cheats?
When male judges allow women to lose their children by refusing to make just decisions just because it involves religion?
When women are blamed for “allowing” themselves to be raped even if they are 73 and doing nothing more provocative than washing dishes in their own home?
When career women are constantly reminded not to neglect their families while men who neglect theirs are never chided?
When the fact that there are more female students in universities is considered a problem that has to be corrected by preferential admissions for males?
When laws that protect the rights of Muslim women are overturned because God allegedly prefers it that way? When women’s faith and morals are judged solely by the way they dress while men’s aren’t?
When unmarried women are deemed unqualified to speak for abused married women whereas it’s OK for men to speak on behalf of women?
When, despite the overwhelming number of cases of violence against women, men, and even some women, insist on focusing on the rare cases of women committing violence against men?
When women have absolutely no chance of becoming Prime Minister in this country?
When “feminist” is considered a derogatory term, even by women, while “male chauvinist” is worn as a badge of honour by some men?
Who indeed do we have to thank for these?
good eh?..sadly eventhough this is pointed out so blatantly, things will never change in malaysia, not anytime soon anyway. and we cant put the blame solely on men..majority of the women like where they are and dont feel like they should ask for more. so this is frustrating for women like marina ( and me ) because it all the effort put it in and great attempts made to get certain rights for women will look like "angry, sexually deprived, ugly women with nothing better to do are out to get men on purpose" without the support of the people we are getting them for. everyone wants the benefit without breaking a sweat...
it doesnt work that way and never will..when are women going to realise that?
sappy makes me happy
its that time of the month again. instead of researching for my paper critique i am this very moment chatting with 3 people on msn, writing my shopping list down, planning my weekend and listening to sappy songs. i recently discovered tracy chapman...well not really. i have had her songs for awhile now but im only really listening to them now. one particular song i love
THE PROMISE
If you wait for me then Ill come for you
Although Ive traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me, if you miss me once in awhile
Then Ill return to you
Ill return and fill that space in your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
If you dream of me like
I dream of you
In a place thats warm and dark
In a place where
I can feel the beating of your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and
I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and
I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
Please say youll be waiting
Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise if its one that you can keep,
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say youll hold
A place for me in your heart.
and no people i am not in love or heart broken or anything like that. i just love sad and depressing songs....
THE PROMISE
If you wait for me then Ill come for you
Although Ive traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me, if you miss me once in awhile
Then Ill return to you
Ill return and fill that space in your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
If you dream of me like
I dream of you
In a place thats warm and dark
In a place where
I can feel the beating of your heart
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and
I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
If youll be waiting
Ive longed for you and
I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are
Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
Ill find my way back to you
Please say youll be waiting
Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise if its one that you can keep,
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say youll hold
A place for me in your heart.
and no people i am not in love or heart broken or anything like that. i just love sad and depressing songs....
Sunday, March 25, 2007
girls rule and guys drool!!!
stole it from an old classmate's blog..funny
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest!!!
I don't have a problem,
with expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
unconcious flatmates and hormones
so i have been back for just over one month. feels like i never left. i dreaded coming into my flat thinking that i might get the assholes that i got last year. but it has been good so far. my swiss flatmate rafael is the friendly one, a 'must-get-to know-everybody' kinda guy. then there is meg the american girl. she is a big girl and i mean BIG.. we didnt speak to each other for the first few weeks. i found her drunk and unconcious outside our flat and i brought her in and put her to bed. so now we talk.
then there is cameron , second year forensic student from tasmania. i hardly see him but when we do meet we have the funniest of conversations. i found him sleeping on the bathroom floor, with the shower fully turned on one thursday night. he told me two days later that he was kicked out of the tavern for puking on the grounds outside and was brought home by security. he decided that he smelled pretty badly so he went into the bathroom to take a shower. thats when i found him unconcious on floor about a hour and a half later.
the room next to me had a canadian girl, susan, who told me the first day i arrived that she wanted to move out of the village. she claimed the the village is 'just like a hostel'. [IT IS you bimbo!..] anyhoo she moved out last week with some of her other friends and there is another aussie guy living there now. trevor is third year chiro student and seems very responsible and smart. his girlfriend is equally nice and they seem a like a nice, mature couple. so no assholes this year...so far
about me now..havent been doing much really. watched a couple of movies. think my highlight of the month was getting a movie pack; 10 movies for $6.99. i have noticed this past month that i have been ridiculously hormonal. my usual cure for it is burning weird choices of song on a cd. but this month it has been bad. for instance, i was listening to titanic soundtrack before i went to bed...i wept my eyes out througout the entire playlist. i have no idea why. but i wept and wept and i couldnt stop myself from listening to the rest of the songs. imagine my eyebags the next morning. i blame it entirely on hormones.
i got a haircut recently. i went nuts and it is superly duperly short. i mean i look like a 14 year old boy from behind. makes my head look bigger than it already is. still i really dig my new 'do. i look so different now that i scared myself when i caught my reflection on the bathroom mirror.
mental note to myself... dont have haircuts when hormonal
Friday, February 16, 2007
unpacking packed packages
it has been 82 days since my last entry. almost 3 months. what a boring life i lead. which is ok i suppose for a person who is suppose to be on a break. but i didnt have much of a break because i had to study for a paper ( screwed it anyway )...major emotional roller coaster ride.
anyhoo..back in perth now. i am a little suprised with myself. i have become so dependant on my car, i felt lost for the whole time i didnt have a car with me. so i walked all the way to noelene's house and revived dear ol' bobb. he still purrs and occasiaonally farts. went to storage to get some plates and i got all the wrong boxes! so no plates yet so i shall eat out of my palms for the mean time. i hurt my back carrying a heavy box using all the wrong muscles. gosh i feel old..
there were many times i wanted put in an entry but internet back home is super duper slow..cant expect much from a dial up connection. and i cant put whatever i wanted to at that time now coz i have forgotten what i wanted to say. i am useless like that.
okie dokie..........need to go figure out dinner. on my next entry i shall talk about my new housemates ( for Tina's pleasure )
hasta la vista
anyhoo..back in perth now. i am a little suprised with myself. i have become so dependant on my car, i felt lost for the whole time i didnt have a car with me. so i walked all the way to noelene's house and revived dear ol' bobb. he still purrs and occasiaonally farts. went to storage to get some plates and i got all the wrong boxes! so no plates yet so i shall eat out of my palms for the mean time. i hurt my back carrying a heavy box using all the wrong muscles. gosh i feel old..
there were many times i wanted put in an entry but internet back home is super duper slow..cant expect much from a dial up connection. and i cant put whatever i wanted to at that time now coz i have forgotten what i wanted to say. i am useless like that.
okie dokie..........need to go figure out dinner. on my next entry i shall talk about my new housemates ( for Tina's pleasure )
hasta la vista
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