that nagging feeling

jerry has not been well these past few days. he doesnt seem to want to move much. he hardly swims and constantly sleeps. worst thing of all he is not eating. he hasnt for the past 6 days.he usually gobbles up the food i put for him but he doesnt even bother to look upwards.

i told my flatmate amy about jerry's odd behaviour and she said that her fish did the exact same thing before she died about a month ago. i didnt even know the fish died. not a good thing to say to a pet owner, i can tell you that much.

at the moment he is at the water surface with his mouth open and he is just floating there, not moving a muscle. that one the first signs that a fish usually presents before it dies. he is not even disturbed by the food pellet poking his head. i have not gotten enough sleep this past week because i keep waking up to check on him, to see whether he is floating on top of the water, belly-up.

i have had pets all my life. i have had fishes too. charlie was my first. but jerry is different. i got him early this year because i needed something to distract me from everything shitty that has been happening around me. and he did. he is pretty old and i know he might die soon. but now is not the time. i dont think i can handle anymore losses at the moment.

please dont die jerry