time and timing

it has been an interesting fortnight. all though i have been itching to log on and write something in i just didnt have the time. my brother came to visit for a week and we were only home to have the occasional dinner and sleep. the moment we got out of bed, we were out of the flat.

my brother being here was a good and a bad thing. good thing, i got to eat (ALOT). good thing, got to take drives and learn new routes and roads in this 'third world country' state im living in. good thing, i got to know my brother whom i wasnt terribly close to a little better.

the bad stuff...i realised how much i wanted to leave this shithole. i was literally jumping everytime he mentioned moving to perth. this would mean i get to go live with him. after i dropped him off at the airport and i got back to my flat i just didnt feel like going in. bad thing..the possibility of living with my brother when he gets here. my brother is a typical male and had this mentality of "my house, my rule" kinda crap. whatever....bad thing, he has already made it clear that we would have to "share the housework". sharing housework with my brother means it me that will have to do all the housework ( and my sister can affirm this )..bad thing, he smokes. and he plans to do it in the house. this i cannot tolerate. ill kick him out with a saucepan if i have to.

in the end..i still want to move out and go live with my brother.i think we can be pretty good housemates. im really really dying to get out before i lose my mind in this place. i gave up my chance of moving out with jo because of him. we'll see how it goes.

since he was here during my break i spent the last week catching up with all my assignments. seems like it never ending. i have this law critique due this friday and all i have done so far is to stare at it. i dont even know what the assignments wants me to do. thats why i am typing this and not reseaching for information at the moment.

procrastination is my middle name..did i tell you that??

on the topic of time.. 22 years of my life has just passed me by. i spent the last 17 years in classrooms. a friend asked my once what is your earliest memory of yourself and the only images flooding in were pictures of me in my blue uniform. i dont remember our first family dog...the house i was born in..nothing.

what a life i have led. it has been a life of textbooks and competitions to be the best brains. what a lousy and unfulfilling way to spend your life. yes i want to be educated and yes im lucky to have the opportunities to receive it. but as soon as i get out of uni i have to start earning my living.. i dont want to be one of those middle aged women standing at their kitchen sink realising that their lives has just flown passed and there was no way to rewind it. i dont want to miss out.

anyhooo..i really dislike my birthday. i never had my family with me for any of my birthday and seems like it will always be that way. even on the day i was born my father was somewhere across the ocean. he saw me for the first time 2 weeks later. i hope i burfed on him for missing my birth ( not that my mother ever mentioned that i did ).

also something shitty always happens to make me dislike it even more...its a bloody curse. my mother had this huge fight with my dad once and almost left my family..my grandfather and my parents fought like 2 days before and they didnt speak for nearly 4 ( or was it 5?? ) years. it was a regular day this year..i attended my lectures and followed jo to 'multicultural night' held in the student village. my day didnt end as nicely as i would have liked it to but hey...curses never really leave you.